Post by Kapitan on Apr 15, 2020 20:03:23 GMT
Even the greatest bands and artists tend to have some stinkers. Go ahead, complain! Get it off your chest here!
In 1998, legendary hard rock band Van Halen closed its two classic eras (David Lee Roth, 1978-84; Sammy Hagar, 1985-96) and offered its first (and last) album with former Extreme singer Gary Cherone on board to handle vocals, Van Halen III.
Van Halen III is, if I may be so bold, a gigantic, bloated, uninteresting and inconsequential pile of feces. The hooks and riffs aren't memorable (though a few at times seem to be direct ripoffs of the classics). The guitar tone--from Eddie Van Halen, he of the famous "brown sound!"--reminds me mostly of presets from the little Zoom effects gear of the era, thin little auto-wah or phaser based tones, corny digital delays. The lyrics are best ignored. Ten of the songs, all of those with lyrics, are longer than 5:24, including four that surpass the six-minute mark.
There just isn't much good to say about this album. I never hated it this much before, but it just occurred to me why: I am pretty sure I never listened to it. I know I never owned it. I think I heard the band added Cherone and had mixed feelings (despite loving Extreme); heard the single "Without You;" and was officially sad. And that was that. I moved on. Probably the smartest decision I've ever made in my life as relates to Van Halen.
I decided to re-listen to its predecessor, the last studio album with Hagar on board, 1995's Balance. I did own, and at least at the time listen to, that one. It was never among my favorite Van Halen albums, though. It always struck me as fine. The least of the "Van Hagar" albums, but certainly not an embarrassment. It was very successful from a sales perspective (#1 on the Billboard Top 200; triple platinum), though I don't recall its reviews being especially positive even at the time. It has fallen out of fashion even more since then.
And you know what? It's about 197x better than Van Halen III. It really is. My god.
Don't listen to Van Halen III. It's not worth it. Find something else to do, like pace around your living room for an hour singing "Coconut" in the voice of Fred Schneider to yourself.