bellbottoms
Pacific Coast Highway
Posts: 727
Likes: 201
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Funny.
Dec 9, 2019 12:34:15 GMT
jk likes this
Post by bellbottoms on Dec 9, 2019 12:34:15 GMT
LOL #5, #12 and #19! Thanks for the Monday morning chuckles!
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Funny.
Dec 9, 2019 21:07:33 GMT
Post by jk on Dec 9, 2019 21:07:33 GMT
The following signs have been found in various locations, using the English language somewhat creatively...
Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY. Doctor's office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE. Using hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLE YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR. Men's rest room in Japan: TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP. In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO. A sign on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS. In a Pumwani maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES. Sign in Japanese public bath: FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB. Tokyo hotel's rules: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. Menu of Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN. Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE. Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE. Hotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK. Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY. Hotel catering to skiers, Austria: NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION. Menu, Poland: SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION. Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE. The Soviet Weekly: THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS. East African newspaper: A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS. Sign in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE. Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE. Ad by Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS. Laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES. Ad for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? On box of clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE. In a Swiss mountain inn: SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM. Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
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bellbottoms
Pacific Coast Highway
Posts: 727
Likes: 201
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Funny.
Dec 9, 2019 21:49:46 GMT
Post by bellbottoms on Dec 9, 2019 21:49:46 GMT
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION. Isn’t this the title of a Pink Floyd song?
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Funny.
Dec 9, 2019 22:30:24 GMT
Post by jk on Dec 9, 2019 22:30:24 GMT
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION. Isn’t this the title of a Pink Floyd song? If it makes you happy, bb... yes it's the title of a Pink Floyd song. (Anything for a quiet life.)
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bellbottoms
Pacific Coast Highway
Posts: 727
Likes: 201
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Funny.
Dec 9, 2019 22:57:04 GMT
Post by bellbottoms on Dec 9, 2019 22:57:04 GMT
Isn’t this the title of a Pink Floyd song? If it makes you happy, bb... yes it's the title of a Pink Floyd song. (Anything for a quiet life.) Just my attempt at trying to be funny... that landed with a thud. I'll knock it off.
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Post by Kapitan on Dec 9, 2019 23:15:56 GMT
A great friend of mine from college did use the word "circumambulate" in a song once. That's as close as I can get! (To either naming a song using "perambulate" or trying to be funny!) The song was "The Last Artist in a Series of Three That I Know," subsequent to "My Friend the Dead Artist" and "My Friend the Artist." (I loved those guys! My friends' band, not the artists and dead artists of whom they sang.)
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Funny.
Dec 9, 2019 23:24:35 GMT
Post by jk on Dec 9, 2019 23:24:35 GMT
If it makes you happy, bb... yes it's the title of a Pink Floyd song. (Anything for a quiet life.) Just my attempt at trying to be funny... that landed with a thud. I'll knock it off. I know you were joking! So was I! Sorry if it seemed otherwise. (The internet is a great place for misunderstandings.)
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bellbottoms
Pacific Coast Highway
Posts: 727
Likes: 201
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Funny.
Dec 10, 2019 1:15:04 GMT
Post by bellbottoms on Dec 10, 2019 1:15:04 GMT
Just my attempt at trying to be funny... that landed with a thud. I'll knock it off. I know you were joking! So was I! Sorry if it seemed otherwise. (The internet is a great place for misunderstandings.) True that, and I'm sorry I didn't catch your drift, jk. It's all good
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Funny.
Dec 10, 2019 9:27:26 GMT
Post by jk on Dec 10, 2019 9:27:26 GMT
I know you were joking! So was I! Sorry if it seemed otherwise. (The internet is a great place for misunderstandings.) True that, and I'm sorry I didn't catch your drift, jk. It's all good That's a relief. I'll post a picture this time:
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Funny.
Dec 11, 2019 18:38:40 GMT
Post by jk on Dec 11, 2019 18:38:40 GMT
I only saw this cartoon for the first time yesterday. It took quite a while to sink in but now I can't stop laughing about it. How my laughter didn't wake my wife up last night I do not know! davidshrigley.com
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Funny.
Dec 11, 2019 19:13:13 GMT
via mobile
Post by Kapitan on Dec 11, 2019 19:13:13 GMT
I love that!
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Funny.
Dec 11, 2019 21:03:43 GMT
Post by jk on Dec 11, 2019 21:03:43 GMT
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Funny.
Dec 12, 2019 12:55:01 GMT
Post by jk on Dec 12, 2019 12:55:01 GMT
I don't believe this is meant to be funny but I howled with laughter when I saw it:
(I found it while trying to discover what was producing that high note on The BB's "San Miguel".)
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Funny.
Dec 12, 2019 13:00:20 GMT
via mobile
jk likes this
Post by Kapitan on Dec 12, 2019 13:00:20 GMT
This is mostly old stuff, but I’ve always just loved David Thorne. I’m linking directly to his classic “spider drawing” email exchange, but most anything on the site is hilarious. www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html
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Funny.
Dec 13, 2019 9:07:55 GMT
Post by jk on Dec 13, 2019 9:07:55 GMT
This is mostly old stuff, but I’ve always just loved David Thorne. I’m linking directly to his classic “spider drawing” email exchange, but most anything on the site is hilarious. www.27bslash6.com/overdue.htmlIt does look hilarious!!! Something for a rainy day. Thanks, Cap'n. Here's my contribution for today. With thanks to Anderson (where he?):
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